Misery

Sometimes my heart wants to vent out many things to someone close. when i look around, its sad to say but i am not able to find one. There are some very close friends but..... I have spent most of my life away from my family members. Although I am very well connected to them but I don't want to share everything with them. sometimes i want to cry in front of someone but i am not able to find one. sometimes i want to make someone agree to everything i say, i don't find one. There are many more things which cross my mind. These things now make me realize that life is not a smooth ride as it seems to be. This reminds me of constant struggle that is required to stay alive. Given a choice, I would like to spend most of my spare time with myself.Thank god, I have enough work to keep me busy.I am kind of person who hates to be alone. I love to be among friends and have a blast...but now it seems like things will change...the process has already started....don't know..if it's for good or it's for bad..I am bored of partying and night-outs. recently, I attended many marriage parties which has added to my misery..I can not meet people who make me feel uncomfortable..After some soul searching, I found that I have changed at least 4 group of friends in last 8 years. Now it has come to a saturation point..No new group of friends...Almost 70% of them are now married..20%..lost in their own world...nd the rest 10% have changed the meaning of a friend. For a person like me, who has spent most of his life away from family, whatever things i have done includes reference of friends everywhere..I feel very sad to post this blog.. I would have loved to discuss this with someone who can silently listen to me..look inside me and understand my misery...I find myself helpless at this point..I can't do much...I am not able to understand this change....